HOW EVERY NUMBER IS MADE.

• ONCHAIN

  Read straight off Robinhood Chain over JSON-RPC.

• DERIVED

  Computed from onchain reads by a formula printed on this page.

• MODELLED

  What the configured fee model would produce on observed activity. Not collected. Not revenue.

• DEMO

  Seeded content so the surface is not empty. No economic reality behind it.

• CONFIG

  An operator setting, shown exactly as configured.

BOILER does not keep a hardcoded token list. It decodes Uniswap V3 Swap events over a stated block window, ranks the pools by how much they actually traded, then reads token0, token1, fee, slot0 and liquidity for each of them through Multicall3. Token symbol, name and decimals come from the contracts themselves. Pool inventory is ERC20 balanceOf on the pool address. Prices are computed from sqrtPriceX96. A dollar basis is built by walking outward from USDG, so a token with no path to a dollar is left unpriced rather than guessed. One market survives per base token: the pool with the deepest inventory.

Tokenized equities are identified by the naming convention the issuer uses onchain, so a stock listed after this page was written classifies correctly with no code change. Stables and majors come from a short explicit list. Everything else is split between ALT and MEME on symbol and name shape. Classification is a label, never a safety rating.

HEAT = 0.30 trades/min + 0.25 volume/liquidity + 0.20 unique buyers + 0.15 buy-side skew + 0.10 absolute move, each normalised against a fixed ceiling, over the stated block window.

• HOTRanked by composite HEAT, which is activity based, not price based.
• MOST ACTIVERanked by decoded swap count in the window. One trade, one count, no weighting.
• HIGH BETAAbsolute price move in the window, floored at 50 trades so a single fill cannot top the board.
• LIQUIDITY MOVERSWindow volume divided by pool inventory. Measures how hard the book is being worked.
• TOKENIZED EQUITIESTokens whose onchain name marks them as issued equity exposure. Volume ranked.
• MEMESClassified by name and symbol shape. Volume ranked. Read the risk flags first.
• ALTCOINSEverything not equity, not stable, not a major. Volume ranked.
• CRYPTOMajors with an established market off this chain. Volume ranked.
• THIN ICEUnder $25k of pool inventory but still trading. Shown because hiding it would be the dishonest option.

Every resolved call contributes exactly one observation. Median is reported ahead of mean because one lucky meme should not carry a desk. Max drawdown is the worst single resolved call. Consistency is 1 minus the coefficient of variation of resolved returns, floored at 0.

SCORE = 0.35 median resolved return (capped at +50%) + 0.20 consistency + 0.20 drawdown control + 0.15 sample size (log scaled, 30 calls saturates) + 0.10 track record age (180 days saturates). Absolute return is deliberately capped so a single lucky call cannot buy the top spot.

• No wash trading, self-trading, or any tooling that manufactures volume.
• No synthetic holder counts, no fabricated liquidity, no invented protocol revenue.
• No paid placement dressed as a ranking. Every board prints its rule.
• No language model writing market events. The Street Feed is templated from decoded logs.
• No hidden fees. Pool fee, protocol fee and desk fee are itemised before every signature.
• No unlimited token approvals by default.